I learned the art of not becoming angry at a high price. Nothing is free and even less the lessons we learn. When we change it isn’t normally because we will ourselves to. Change comes about from either a traumatic experience or one that shatters our core so much that we are forever changed. In my case, it was anger that left me.
I used to get angry and hoped that this anger would change the world if I directed it properly, but not, anger only makes one’s life miserable and it is very hard to control and contain. We have certain buttons that if pressed, even without thinking about it, just take a life of their own and go automatically off on an anger spree. It is mentally, emotionally and physically exhausting, besides hurting our sleep and our hearts. (Not to mention those wrinkles that seem to carve their way into our faces from that very unattractive frown.)
Anger left me a year and a half ago when I had to let go of my friend. He left us peacefully and quietly. After a year of a lot of anxiety and problems, I finally saw his face relaxed and at rest. I was able to say goodbye and I took with me what he always told me: don’t be angry, send people good vibes even if they hate you, don’t fight life, do your best and pray to whomever you need to, in order to let go of the anger. Be serene, at peace.
I feel that the moment I said my final goodbye, all my anger left me. He must have taken it away with him to rid me of it, knowing I’d be better off without it. I have lost the ability to be angry and I can tell because after all the things that have transpired after his passing, which at other times would have filled me with anger, haven’t affected me so much. Any anger that was in me has been substituted by this deep understanding that shit happens and nothing is so important.
Live, let live and let go.
7 thoughts on “How I lost my anger.”
Deborah the Closet Monster
I spent several years struggling with anger, and then had another short burst of it–toward my father–after my mom died five years ago.
Today I was getting a little anxious about discussions with a friend, but I couldn’t figure out why. Talking to another friend illuminated that: it was the anger. So, so much anger. I’m much better about anger than I was before, but it’s also uncomfortable for me to be faced with such relentless anger that I cannot control or impact.
Understanding where my discomfort came from made it easier for me to be at peace, and divert conversation other directions. So that I see this post while looking at the “love” tag and just feel a sigh of relief to my core. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing! Yes… I had so much anger before and it was so hard to live with. Now, I feel I have used up all the reserves and I am way to tired to resist life. Let’s accept, relax and try to let go. As you say, understanding our feelings makes us free!
What a wonderful and powerful release! Love your mantra for living . Thank you for sharing here.
Thank you so much!
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