Simple Little Pleasures at 54

I’m in that stage of life where one could say the train has left the station. It might be true for some things, but for others, it’s the perfect time to enjoy the simple little pleasures. Now,  more than ever I can take advantage of truly simple things especially because I’m alone, over 50, and […]

Read More…

The little box of memories

Every summer I go to Madrid. The city where I spent my childhood years and my twenties. My last trip was different from all the others. It felt like Fall had taken over my soul as Isabel Ayende put it in an interview. Most of her life her soul felt like Summer, but since the […]

Read More…

Rising way above the ashes

Who would have thought that I would actually rise way above the ashes after what I thought was losing it all? Not me. I’m too old to believe in starting over, but then I did and rose way above. I didn’t do it alone. We do nothing alone. I did it with helping hands galore […]

Read More…

We never move on and leave them behind

It’s been a while since I wrote. I simply couldn’t. I was waiting for the grief to pass. I was hoping to move on and leave it behind, but it just hasn’t happened. And although I don’t find myself crying all day, I do feel the weight of it and carry it around with me.  […]

Read More…

How to drown

This post’s title is not to be taken to heart. It’s kind of reverse psychology. I truly understand and know what darkness is, therefore I feel I can write this without any shame. It should have been “How not to drown,” but for some reason, sometimes we need to hear things in a different light […]

Read More…

Endings and beginnings

As 2018 ends and we welcome 2019, reflection is a must. We cut our losses and make the most of them but also celebrate the good moments that brought us here. There is no best or worse, it’s a balance. Although time simply goes on. It was decided at some point to set time limits […]

Read More…

While I grieved I forgot…

While I grieved I forgot others who are still alive and important in my life. I focussed on my loss, my pain and allowed this to fog my days. I have held to that loss with a strong grip and remained focused on it as if letting it go or connecting with others would in […]

Read More…

When grief has nowhere to go

It sits there, like a rock in your stomach not allowing you to move on without difficulty. Everything takes a herculean effort. Senses are numbed, and what once brought you joy easily, now you have to fake it somewhat because you cannot keep talking about it. So, you keep it bottled up, the grief, with […]

Read More…

Maybe…

Maybe we met briefly or became fast friends at school. Maybe you’re my family and put up with me as a teen and through the tumultuous years leading to recovery. Maybe I’ve wronged you by not tending to our friendship often enough. Maybe you were my husband who shared a good 17 years with our […]

Read More…