I’m chill, says my eldest niece. I don’t get angry or too excited. I agree, but it didn’t use to be this way. It’s taken a time to get to a place where I don’t have to control my emotions and go to extremes which, is very challenging and emotionally draining.
I lost my anger at some point in the last few years and have come to enjoy and favor a much more pleasurable and peaceful existence. I’ll do anything to avoid anger and I can actually talk myself out of it if my emotions try to tilt towards a danger zone.
What makes me much more stable and even-tempered is asking myself whether it’s worth it to be angry. It never is. I also try to look at the larger picture and always end up deciding that nothing is so important when I have a choice of letting go of anger or holding on to it and suffering its consequences.
I’ve had great mentors who have taught me by example to be chill by realizing that things always fall into place no matter how worked up I get; “it is what it is,” so why fight it? Anger blinds us and keeps us stuck and hardly able to be proactive.
Being at peace with the world and with myself is my top priority these days. Of course, it’s been a journey to get here, and although the boat might try to steer towards troubled waters I try to hold the helm tight and move on.