I often hear people say that if someone is still single, then their love life must be a failure. However, I don’t see it that way. I have been fortunate enough to fall in love countless times and have had many wonderful experiences. Even though it didn’t work out with most of them, I still look back on those relationships with care and compassion for what they were. Rarely have they ended on a sour note. Although it’s natural to feel hurt when relationships end, those experiences have enriched me and helped me grow as a person.

Over time, I have come to see love through a more practical lens. When we are young, love can be hopeful, dreamy, and unlimited, but as we age, we become more critical, picky, and practical. The questions we ask ourselves about love change too. As for myself, I wonder if I am willing to change my life for someone whom I love. Having lived by myself for eight years after a 17-year marriage, I have become more selfish and less flexible. I also carry baggage and have learned many lessons. Looking back, I now realize that I greatly feared commitment and intimacy, which always ended things mostly because of me. Even though I was unaware at the time, I am now deeply aware that I am unable to make love and relationships last.

Despite these shortcomings, I still consider myself lucky in love and respect the people who have come into my life. However, I am now highly skeptical about whether I will ever be able to commit and change my life for love. Am I sad? No, it is what it is.