Melancholy is slowly breaking my heart

The problem with human beings is their ability to remember the past. I live now in an almost constant state of melancholy for all I lost along the way. Everything rests there in some hidden part of my brain, waiting to be triggered by some place, person or thing I come across. I’ve returned to […]

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The joy of scattering ashes and love

Today we scattered Dearest Drew’s ashes by the sea and the trails she so much loved to run, where all San Franciscan dogs come to play and roam free. It felt like closure. I was able to say goodbye to my dear companion and friend. Those who don’t have dogs can’t really understand how much […]

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Finding my new home with UpNest

Since I was a little girl I tried to prepare myself for the worst, maybe in weird ways, but still, I would imagine what would happen if… Any case scenario worked. As I grew older I still did the same but more realistically. Even before I got divorced I would check out, in this case, […]

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Farewell my dear Drew

My bestie Drew passed away January 8th peacefully in her favorite spot, the living room. next to the curtains where she would watch and make sure no intruder trespassed without her permission. Even at 14 years old she was there looking out for us. When I was deprived of Sparky, after my separation, I found […]

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The problem with death is not dying

The problem with death is not dying. The problem is for the living, for those left behind who become orphaned and grieving for that chunk of self that has been ripped away. Dying is easy, staying behind and going on with life without your loved one is hard. Those whom we love, are part of us and when […]

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Fun craft for Día de los Muertos

I find myself gearing up for the upcoming Día de los Muertos. As a Spanish teacher, I like to have the kids in my classes work on some aspect of the Hispanic culture. What better example of a colorful and beautiful celebration than  Día de los Muertos? I´m having them create fun, but easy decorations […]

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When I want to die

Maybe I shouldn’t say this, but sometimes when I’m down and life gets too hard, it helps me to say aloud, with no one around, that I want to die. How can this help? It does, and a lot. Saying and acknowledging this feeling, this wanting to die, is like choosing to live. I let it […]

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Will this be our year?

We believed that it was to be “our year,” “our time.” Our luck turned and we made it all happen. Years later we are at different crossroads, older and maybe wiser. Perhaps now, more beaten up to utter those words again. Our enthusiasm is not what it used to be. The reality of life has […]

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