When shit happens, the first stage of grief is shock, adrenaline kicks in, and while some may react by crying inconsolably, others go into frantic activity mode, where they keep so busy that they don’t allow themselves the time to feel anything. Then the cycle continues and they are hit by anger, followed by acceptance, which, by the way, takes longer to come.
The problem with this cycle is that it recycles itself and may repeat itself a few times before we are able to look back and say: “Man, I actually got through that!” Probably exclaiming in amazement as if it had happened to another person.
Unfortunately, depending on what type of loss you’ve gone through, other ingredients are thrown in the mix which don’t make things any easier; guilt, regret, loneliness, apathy, insecurities, hopelessness, helplessness, desperation and many more.
It’s impossible to make ourselves decide to stop a feeling or a cycle. Our brains and our emotions often lead different lives. But we know, that there is this little flicker of hope hidden inside of us that calls out to us and tells us that this shall pass and that everything will be OK at some point, that the pain will gradually subside and peace will be restored.
There is no way around it; we have to get through the grief roller coaster ride. The more we are aware of the stages, the less confusing and the less each blow will hurt. As long as we know that it is the normal path, we can get through it more at easily, knowing that some day we will wake up and our grief won’t be the first thing that greets you.