My father, years ago gave me a book entitled “Solas.” Maybe he knew all along that I don’t belong to the married, to the couple, but to the bunch of people who live happily ever after in the company of friends and family. I agree.
As I sit here “alone” in a coffee shop waiting for a friend to catch up on “the latest” news, I actually feel quite content. I don’t feel lonely or alone. I have a troop of cheerleaders backing me.
At fifty I feel better prepared to face life alone and don’t really need outside help to make it. In my former relationship we didn’t share finances and went fifty/fifty until he made more and 3 years ago he allowed me to pay less than fifty/fifty since he made much more than I. I’m happy to report that I never had to ask him for money, ever, even with the meager salaries I’ve always made. (I’m a teacher.) And I know I can stand up on my own two feet.
No matter what storms may come I can face them now. I am well prepared to deal with life alone. I am afraid of other things, of people dying, of horrific disasters in the world but not a life with only myself to report to.
Of course I need people, but I don’t need a relationship to feel part of, loved or fulfilled. Now I need other things: time, experiences and my friends and family. I have many, and they have proven to be there for me in the most trying of times, like cheerleaders pushing me to become stronger and adapt to my new life as a “single” person.
I’m grateful, at this time in my life to simply be alive and enjoy life as it is.