Who hasn’t experienced shame? We all do at some time, but there are extremes where we feel so afraid of what people think of us, that we become so paralyzed that we allow it to control our lives. In small doses, shame is normal, even good, but in higher doses life can be very painful and crippling.
When we look in the mirror and don’t like what we see, we actually feel shame. We have such a negative opinion of ourselves that we are unable to just be ourselves as when we are alone or with a dear friend we trust.
Think about it. You really are not the person you think you are in relation to how you think others see you. You are the person who feels at ease with close friends, the one you are when you don’t care what people think.
The problem is that shame overcomes us when we over think and try to see ourselves under other people’s critical eyes, which then makes us not be ourselves but a nervous and awkward version of ourselves. All this, resulting in killing the moment as in job interviews.
The best way to get over shame is practice and time. Age takes away a lot of our self-doubt and we care less about what people may think of us. But the sooner you become aware of the fact that, actually what others think of you is not your business, and once you decide to not care, you truly become yourself.
Be that person you are when alone, when with those you care for. There is no better feeling than that of finally letting go of trying to be someone else or pleasing people. Whoever stays is welcome, those who don’t agree with you can take a long walk and never come back.