When someone hurts us, automatically our brain goes into wicked revenge mode. Thinking up cruel ways to add injury to those who have screwed us. But, even if we feel and think this way, it might not be, not only in our own best interest, but not in our true nature at all. You can tell it’s not in your nature because when you get back at someone, you feel crappy, ashamed and angry at yourself for trying to do the “eye for an eye thing,”
It’s hard to repress the thoughts of the so-called sweet revenge. It’s not sweet at all. It’s sour. After months, even years of being hurt by someone, yesterday I performed a small and subtle act of revenge. I guess I didn’t trust Karma enough, and for once I wasn’t able to restrain myself. I did it and it’s done, but I know it’s not my nature because I had nightmares about it. That’s when you know that something you did is not right for you. When the subconscious comes to haunt you at night.
I’m no saint, but I’m not into revenge, mainly because it’s not only bad for me emotionally, but because it mostly harms me and makes me as bad as the person I so despise. Lowering myself to the other person’s level of “crummy.”
All I can do now is forgive myself and not give in again to the sour taste of revenge. It’s unhealthy, not me, and only perpetuates negativity. Restraint is a better practice, as well as forgiveness. Letting go frees you. But we are human and we only learn our lessons by making our own mistakes.
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