We never move on and leave them behind

It’s been a while since I wrote. I simply couldn’t. I was waiting for the grief to pass. I was hoping to move on and leave it behind, but it just hasn’t happened. And although I don’t find myself crying all day, I do feel the weight of it and carry it around with me.  […]

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How to drown

This post’s title is not to be taken to heart. It’s kind of reverse psychology. I truly understand and know what darkness is, therefore I feel I can write this without any shame. It should have been “How not to drown,” but for some reason, sometimes we need to hear things in a different light […]

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Endings and beginnings

As 2018 ends and we welcome 2019, reflection is a must. We cut our losses and make the most of them but also celebrate the good moments that brought us here. There is no best or worse, it’s a balance. Although time simply goes on. It was decided at some point to set time limits […]

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While I grieved I forgot…

While I grieved I forgot others who are still alive and important in my life. I focussed on my loss, my pain and allowed this to fog my days. I have held to that loss with a strong grip and remained focused on it as if letting it go or connecting with others would in […]

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When grief has nowhere to go

It sits there, like a rock in your stomach not allowing you to move on without difficulty. Everything takes a herculean effort. Senses are numbed, and what once brought you joy easily, now you have to fake it somewhat because you cannot keep talking about it. So, you keep it bottled up, the grief, with […]

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Maybe…

Maybe we met briefly or became fast friends at school. Maybe you’re my family and put up with me as a teen and through the tumultuous years leading to recovery. Maybe I’ve wronged you by not tending to our friendship often enough. Maybe you were my husband who shared a good 17 years with our […]

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Why some of us need more downtime

I as many others may seem social, happy and thriving in the company of people, yet at some point, we suddenly feel the urge to run home and hide from the bustle, seeking downtime to recover and collect ourselves and our thoughts. It’s like coming back home to the security and safety of ourselves. I […]

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Love of my life

Last night I went to see Bohemian Rapsody, a tribute to Freddy Mercury. While there may have been some untruths and exaggerations, it’s a love story. The story of a love; self-love, passion and how we all have our inner demons that rarely people see and probably don’t need to. Love of my life, a […]

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And we wonder

If someone will ever care enough to hold our hand and hug our hearts completely. If that someone will hold us close, and even temporarily, erase our fears, and worries. If they will believe we are worth their time and decide every day to stay by our side. And by wondering we will at least […]

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