I wouldn’t have ever described myself as a patient person, however, now, I’ve learned the art of waiting patiently the only way possible, through life lessons. Just like everyone else I couldn’t wait to grow up, I couldn’t wait for the weekend, the summer, you name it. Finally, I can wait, but it’s taken decades and as I said, lessons that have broken me down in many ways and for the best, I believe.
It’s hard, especially these days to practice patience when everything is given to us pretty quickly in this age of technology where everyone is expected to answer back immediately or else is offended. I am not though. Not anymore I should say.
After two years of sleeping around, with no home to call my own, I have not only learned to be patient but to improvise on a daily basis what my next step would be. This was unimaginable a couple of years ago. As I look back I feel I have been freed from having to stick to a routine just to feel in control. I’ve learned I have little control over time and plans. I still try and I still plan but in a more open way. Anything can change on a dime and I’m ready. Nothing is set in stone. I’m flexible now and can go with the flow in the hope that I did my best to get where I want to be.
As I spent the summer with my nephew and nieces in Spain this summer and I heard them speak about the future and say: “I can’t wait till Chloe leaves for college to paint my room blue,” or “I can’t wait till I can drive on my own,’ etc… I said nothing about how time goes by so fast and how wonderful life is when you don’t have that many responsibilities. That time seems to speed up with age and moments, precious moments pass us up when we’re impatient and looking elsewhere ahead. I simply nodded with recognition and felt blessed that I no longer am at that place where everything has to be now.
These past two years as I waited to secure a job I loved, get over the pain of divorce which I actually wanted too, a place to call home, it all happened in its own time, as I also met a special someone that I had actually crossed out of my list, but it came.
So, I’ve become very patient in my personal life through all this tornado:
- With people, I have the most patience. People are the way they are and I cannot change them.
- In long queues, I can wait because I’m in no rush. I always plan on doing things like shopping at times when I have sufficient time, same goes for getting places.
- Waiting for a job, a payment, an event. Before I know it, it will happen. I cannot and also refuse to add to the worry list.
- I’m more patient with children now, especially since I spent a month with three teens. They were a reminder of how I was at their age, and they are surely better than I was.
- If I’m really dying to see someone and it can not be, I always fall back on “It is, what it is,” It will happen if it has to happen and no dose of impatience is going to make it happen faster or at all. So in that area, I have learned to be open to waiting and I’m at peace.
- Two years ago I couldn’t wait to find a home, and here it is, the time has come and all that worry was wasted. It has come at the right time, of course, with the help of my friends.
One learns the art of patienece only by being beatten down by life. You cannot will yourself to be patience, or at least myself. Life has a lot to teach us and it will do it, in its own time.