My heart tears when I bid farewell

Although I’m extremely lucky to be able to visit my friends and family overseas and out-of-state, every Christmas and Summer, my heart tears a little every time I bid farewell. However normal this feeling is, it seems new every single time. It doesn’t get easier no matter how many years I’ve been through it.

When we are separated from someone we love, part of us goes missing, leaving an empty hole impossible to fill. It hurts because we are the sum total of the people we love and therefore feel a bit lost and disoriented when we have to walk away and go back to our “normal” lives. In my case, my new hopefully, improved, life.

Everyone’s experience may differ, mine too. Some people go back to their lives energized and ready to grab the bull by the horns, but I, and a friend of mine who also shares the experience feel a sudden eerie silence taking over once we land in our adopted home, San Francisco. We go from being surrounded by people we care about and feel safe with, to a sort of solitary limbo.

These feelings may last a couple of days, but I’ve learned to cope with the “limbo” feeling by planning out my week so that I get to see all my friends in San Francisco and start to feel whole and loved again.

And I will keep feeling this way every time I visit, I know, but it’s not a bad thing, it’s good, it’s great to be able to miss people, as my dear friend Tom said.

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