For the last 16 months, I have been sleeping around. And by this, I don’t mean to say I have slept with anybody! I have been staying at different friends’ homes. It has been a ride, to say the least, and I have learned a lot about love, humility, friendship and adapting to circumstances beyond my control.
All this sleeping around came after divorce. It was really a blessing in disguise, and no, it’s not a platitude. I wanted it too but I had a far harder time than my ex getting ahead and starting from scratch. His life didn’t change, he stayed at the place we called home and I left. This is where I learned about all the above. I had to reach out and ask for help, which I wasn’t very good at. Indeed I got a lot of help from friends who offered me their homes, company, and love. Yet, I’m constantly plagued by dreams, nightmares that always follow the same script. I am alone and homeless.
Last night I dreamt I was in a home, someone allowed me to stay, but there seemed to be rats everywhere and as in all my other dreams, I had to leave. Yet, someone, a friend whom I really care for came to get me out of there. We laughed, hugged and ran in some unknown direction. He then told me someone had told him he should marry me and laughed while hugging me. He is gay, so that was not an option, but we were able to say how much we loved each other.
It’s just a dream. I woke up feeling eternally happy to have a friend rescue me, hug me and make me feel that no matter what, I’m not alone.