Those gloom and doom days

All my life I’ve suffered from “Gloom and doom days.” They come, run me over like a speeding truck and then, the next day, for no reason at all, the cloud lifts and I feel OK again. I can face another day, unlike the day before when my mind is so fogged by negative thoughts that I’m almost paralyzed by indecision and worry. It’s then that I want to crawl into bed, curl into a ball and avoid any human interaction.

Yesterday was one of those days. I was in a panic, trying to desperately fix the unfixable at the present moment and under the current state I found myself. I had to suffer through it and make it to nighttime. Went to bed and the next day I was relieved that I hadn’t made any rash decisions out of desperation the day before.

I’m getting better at controlling these “Gloom and doom days.” I try to wait it out and talk myself out of making foolish decisions when I’m in the thick of it. And try to remember that  the fog that envelopes my mind eventually lifts. I clench my teeth, try to reach out and have someone help me get through it.

Those “Gloom and doom days,” will never disappear completely, I know that, so I can only brace myself and remind myself that everything will take care of itself in time and that any important decisions I make cannot take place under such dense fog.


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