Only through struggle and pain do we learn what we are truly made of. It’s in these times that we are tested and become aware of our strengths and weaknesses which allow us to grow and have more faith in ourselves and in life. If we made it through a rough patch, we certainly can face even more. And life always has more in store for us.

I never thought I could handle grief as I have; the loss of a friend, a husband, a love, jobs, and homes. In my imagination, the pain would be too unbearable to survive but I did. I found the strength when the tough moments arose and tried not to drown in them. The problem often is that we believe we have to face it all alone, but we don’t. We can, as I have, lean on friends, get active, and fight to keep our chins up when the world seems to be bursting at the seams.

What the struggles taught me:

1. I’m not alone and don’t have to try to make it alone. Friends and family can be our stepping-stones to recovery.
2. I cannot control life, people, or outcomes. Every day is a new day with its own trials and I can face them as best I can.
3. Only can I see the lighter side when I let go of the gloom and doom.
4. Sometimes we have to give up relationships that hurt us, even if there is love. My question now is: Does this situation or person make me happy or miserable. If it’s the latter, I’ll let it go no matter how hard it is.
5. I learnt that I have little tolerance for anger. My own anger. I simply cannot live with it. I turn it around into forgiveness and understanding. There are always two sides of a story.
6. I’ve learnt to be humble. I’m not ashamed of what has befallen me, I take it as a life lesson.
7. I’m not as weak as I thought. I can stand the pressure and usually work well with it. I’m able to focus more on a solution.
8. Being miserable doesn’t help. It deepens the problem. Trying to be optimistic in tough times actually, strengthens us.
9. I can break down but make sure I pick myself up fast.
10. If I keep myself active and busy by exercising, seeing people and doing things that promote my well-being, the pain is lessened and the fog lifted.

However,  probably the most important lesson we learn through tough times is a deep appreciation of the light that follows the dark.