Necessary disappointments

If people didn’t disappoint us, we wouldn’t get to appreciate those who don’t do that. Therefore, I feel there is a point in having to go through disappointments. I will try to explain.

Buddhism teaches us that if we have no expectations, we won’t ever be disappointed, so we won’t suffer unnecessarily.  However, to reach that level of detachment for those of us who don’t practice Buddhism on a daily basis, is very hard. Of course, if we are determined to practice detachment, we might get to scratch that surface, but barely.

We are hardwired to hope, wish, desire and believe, in our search for happiness, in all those things which create expectations. We want to believe people will say or do certain nice things for us, that they won´t let us down.

Letting go of these expectations for good takes more work than we are ready to put in. Therefore, I believe most of us will always, inevitably, become disappointed with someone at some time or other in our lives.

The hardest part of disappointment is not only letting go of the situation but practicing forgiveness and acceptance. I’ve found that if I try to walk in the shoes of the person I feel has disappointed me, I can feel enough compassion to do so.

It takes a while, but once I set my mind to it, I achieve that goal at some point. I can’t and won´t live consumed with  anger.

I need closure, in order to move forward in life and I find this closure through practicing compassion. I always focus on the few people that truly never disappoint me, and who are the backbone of my existence.

Disappointments will always happen, and without them, we wouldn’t value so much the people who never let us down.

If someone disappoints you, take it as simply another lesson. Now you know what you can and cannot expect from that person and set your limits with them. And be grateful that not everyone is like them.

Make sure, you learn to see that which words don´t convey. Watch out for the red flags.. Because as the saying goes, “actions speak louder than words.”

 

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