The most irritating and hateful expression in the break-up scene is: “It’s not you, it’s me.” But often, we should reverse the order of the sentence and use it as soon as we realize the person we are dating is not worth our while. We are stubborn though, and hope the other person will somehow fit the person we expect them to be. We put up with plenty of B.S. and stay well after the expiration date.
When to go ahead with the phrase: “It’s not me, it’s you,”:
1. When you are the last thing on their list of priorities.
2. When they constantly forget what you tell them that is important to you.
3. When they stop asking questions. Meaning; questions which show interest in who you are, what you think and what you do.
4. When they take you for granted.
5. When they embarrass you in public while drunk or not. The latter being way worse.
6. When you catch them lying to you.
7. When while taking, you are met with a blank stare. A sign they are not listening to a word you are saying.
8. When they make their own plans without even consulting whether you’d care to join. Even if they know you are not into whatever it is they plan to do. It’s a matter of respect and courtesy.
9. When they spend more time with their computer, phone or tablet than with you, unless it’s job related.
10. When they never volunteer to help you.
11. When all they do is whine about how shitty their life is. Not taking responsibility for any of it and not even trying to change it. You becoming their dumping ground.
12. When all they care about is themselves. We are all selfish, but extreme cases are not worth putting up with. You want a team player.
The list goes on. Be ware though, your gut will tell you and you should listen to it, even if your heart tells you the contrary. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they are right for you.
3 thoughts on “It’s not me, it’s you.”
I should have listened my gut 12 years ago. I ignored it for more than a decade, and yes, I would mark yes to every question!
I should have too! It’s never too late!
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