I always thought that things happen for a reason, that whatever had transpired had ultimately led me to better places. I never looked back. That way of thinking served me well. It helped me stay hopeful about my path and my future, and to trust that even the difficult things had a purpose.

But I think it also made it harder for me to understand people who grieve the past.

Then, suddenly, I came across a title- the title of this post- and something clicked. I understood that some people really do grieve the past. They miss a life they once had, wonder if they took the wrong turn, and grieve the life that could have been.

In some ways, I have been lucky. I’ve overcome many hurdles, and in many ways, life did get better. So perhaps it was easier for me to keep moving forward without looking back.

But we will never know what the other path would have brought us. We only know the path we took. And sometimes, people find themselves daydreaming about how much better life might have been if they had chosen differently.

I understand life through my own lens, my past, my circumstances, and everything that has shaped me. But I forget that others are not weighed down by the same things I am, nor do they see life through the same lens.

So I want to understand, rather than dismiss, those who grieve their past. And perhaps I need to extend that same understanding to those who are grieving the present.

We all have our own unique paths and our own internal lives. We carry things others cannot see. And we all deserve to be understood in our grieving, even when we are grieving something that never was, or something that could have been.