Don’t you hate the sentence starting with: “If only…?” Damn! I have ‘t used this expression in the past tense in decades. “If only I had not drunk myself silly…” What belongs to the past must stay there, but should be kept as a reminder of what not do gain! Like hitting your head against a wall is a total, no-no. However, I do indulge in the present tense use of; “If only…” all too often. As in: “If only I weren’t so shy,” or “If only I didn’t think things over so much and just jump into the pool and see how cold the water is once in there, and not trouble myself with how cold it is going to be, and on second or third thought think to myself: “I better not even try…”
“If only,” shouldn’t belong in our vocabulary. A stumbling block that either keeps us in the past or keeps us stuck in the present unable to move on, from fear of taking the wrong path. Fears that mostly belong in our imagination, that are embedded deep inside our amygdala and we have no way to escape them, except by repeated exposure to them.
So here pops up “hope” again. We can actually get rid of our “If only’s,” and move on. But how? Doing that which we fear to do or face. What is there to lose? Nothing really, because if we screw up, we will just have an additional experience on our backs, and some work ahead to try to make it right. But that’s life. Isn’t it? An ongoing series of obstacles to make sure we are kept awake and on our toes. Lest we get bored!
Tips to overcome your fears, at Mamiverse.com