Struggle keeps us alert and on our toes, but when life becomes too unbearable and we find there’s no escape because the trauma it will cause will break too many people’s hearts, you have to find meaning even when you feel there’s isn’t any left.
Sometimes the feeling comes in waves, some small, undetectable, and we proceed, but other times the waves come as tsunamis. It becomes hard to breathe, to fight the waves and keep afloat. You feel nothing will help you to want to keep swimming. The waves are rough, your arms are tired and you’re ready to give up. Then you remember that pain, that heartache you felt when someone was removed from your life and you cannot fathom knowing that you would be the culprit of other people’s pain. It is then that survival instincts kick in. Not for you, but for them you’ll stay afloat, and this too is when you realize, there’s no escape.