Why is it so hard for women to move on after a breakup? Well, it has to do with biology and our emotional makeup. Men need to keep going, keep searching for a mate and their drive is less emotional and more physical. Women on the contrary, usually get more attached to preserve emotional stability. I’m generalizing, but more often than not, it’s the case. Men are better at blocking feelings and jumping onto the next conquest, while women remain often smitten unable to imagine or feel the physical drive to pursue the next conquest. It takes women longer to recover.
In an article published in Psychology today, Jen Kim explains why very well:
“Biology also plays a role in expediting breakup pain for men, according to Dawn Maslar, a biology professor and author of Men Chase, Women Choose: The Neuroscience of Meeting, Dating, Losing Your Mind and Finding True Love. When a men enters a relationship with a woman, Maslar says, his testosterone levels drops, making him more susceptible to bonding with oxytocin (a.k.a. the hormone that makes you feel lovey dovey). But once he decides to exit the relationship, his testosterone goes back up, reducing the effect of the oxytocin: He literally stops feeling love. “In other words, when he’s done, he’s done, because his body helps him to disconnect.”
While all this may be true, women have to learn ways to cope or else they will forever be stuck in the pain. We can decide how long to brood. While it is normal to take a few months to go through the process of the loss, there comes a point where you have to put a conscious end to it. And the only way to do it is by avoiding at some point, rumination. by keeping busy, engaging in life, work and as soon as thoughts about your last love start tricking in, you should engage in some other thoughts. As you practice this, in time and before you know it, you will be free from going constantly back to him.
Just know, that you are not alone. Everyone goes through it!