More often than not, it’s the thought that is scarier than the reality, as with being single and living on my own. Years ago the thought of living alone was so scary that I felt lonely already when I wasn’t! Now, that I’m in fact alone, I don’t feel lonely or scared of facing life without a partner. I don’t allow my thoughts to go there anyway, into an uncertain future which I have little say about. I’m here now enjoying my highs and lows as everyone else without the panic button going off. I can do this, and I’m getting so much out of the experience, especially at this point in my life.
I’m in fact living as a used to but without the guilt! As a teacher, my time is very limited. Days are long, and when I get home I either exercise or work some more. I’m very busy and need a lot of downtime to disconnect and recover from the very social aspect of my trade. I’m living guilt free since my time outside of work is not required or needed.
I don’t worry about waking anyone up when I decide to get up at 3 or 4 in the morning. Since I need time to slowly get going and arrive at work to prepare in no hurry.
I’m decorating my home, finally the way I want. I don’t have a lot of means but it’s turning out beautifully. I’m creating my very own happy place. As I walk in in the evenings I catch myself smiling and sometimes I dare chuckle and say: “Honey, I’m home!”
I’m also finding my peace and have the space now and alone time to collect my many thoughts and decide what I want, like, don’t like and keep moving forward.
Who knew I could follow instructions? I’m learning as are my kids, to try and not give up. So, I have taken to putting furniture together which directions say requires two people to assemble! Stubborn I am! I’m learning patience, focus and practicing determination. So, far, so good!
My social life is not thriving, but I need to focus on what’s on hand and I’m enjoying my own company for a while.
There is a time for everything and this a time to settle, find my balance and take care of my needs. This is a time for reflexion, friendships, family, and work. Life alone is more than OK!