I was very scared, yet as I embarked on my travels this year, I decided to try out, for real, a dating site. It felt safe because I was actually going to be away for most of the time, so how nasty could it get?
At first, I met some men who seemed nice, but nobody stirred my interest. I decided it was because of the coldness of the interactions online that I felt no attraction. But, just as I started to get bored, I got an email from one gentleman who finally spiked my interest. He seemed vulnerable, sweet, and very patient and understanding. Totally the opposite of what I had experienced before, except in my close friendships. However, the red flags were everywhere.-We know how love blinds us at first- In less than a week, he said he loved me. He was already making future plans and wanted a commitment for us to withdraw from the dating site. I was a bit skeptic but went ahead and unlike I’d ever do, especially in person, I agreed and was actually swept away by how much he cared about me. Yep, online.
Boy, was I in for a ride! Yes, it takes two to tango, so I can’t say it was his fault. It was too fast, too soon and online, for over three months we saw each other only 8 times and most rushed since he was always very busy, which I did understand and I was traveling a lot making short stops in the city.
What we did wrong
We shared too much personal information before we even met offline, and whatever character defects or baggage we shared, we found extremely lovable. We talked on the phone and texted for hours. We were in love or thought we were. We disclosed the most vulnerable parts of ourselves, and while this is all fine and well, when reality hit, and we met, I felt naked in front him. And all those things that seemed lovable, started to feel uncomfortable and actually scary. The reality didn’t match the expectations. I thought he was the night in the shining armor and he must have thought I was a damsel in distress.
Too fast too soon. And yes, the disappointment was a bit painful for both, but I’m glad it was short lived and sweet. I did learn to go “Despacito,” next time, and I have also learned that online dating is not for me. I need the real-life experience. I’m sure it works for others, but for myself, I’ll stick to fate and if it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, it’s life.
Yet, as usual, I don’t regret it. I loved and was loved for a bit and I learned a lot about myself, what I want and don’t want. What I’m good at and what I’m not. And at least I was brave enough to try!