Shy people tend to be loners, and the reasons are obvious; social situations make us anxious, although some who may see us from the outside might think we fit right in, we don’t. We keep a safe distance and as soon as we can we flee to our safe place: solitude. There are many of us loners out there who often feel weird, and different as we see how others manage to be so open and social, coming to believe it’s the norm we should follow. Sometimes, as we try to join the troops of society, and try to mingle with them at parties or social events, we end up feeling drained because we have a low tolerance for small talk.
Some people need more space than others to think, regroup and survive at peace. I’ve accepted this about myself and I’m open about how shy I am. In doing so, my level of comfort in social situations has improved greatly. I also know when to leave and now feel less guilty in doing so. I rather make a quick polite leave than suffer through a whole evening. Short and sweet has become my motto. So, others are social butterflies? Well, I’m not, and that’s absolutely OK. The drawback is that meeting new people is harder for us.
There is something positive about being a loner. We have the time to realize when we have done someone wrong, even without realizing it at the time. We give ourselves breaks from the noise to figure out where we are going or where we are heading. A time to ponder, be sad, happy and realize things that others who are constantly in company don’t have the luxury to do.
So, for the shy, the loners out there, you are not alone, weird or different. You are simply human.
2 thoughts on “For the loners and the shy: you are not weird, you’re just human”
Well done: wonderful column! Xo David
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