A good marriage

When two years ago my niece asked me if I thought I had a good marriage, she caught me off guard, and I told her; “We are good roommates. And we don’t fight.” That was something that was hard to say. Mostly because she was 14 and I didn’t want to let her in on what had been stirring inside of me for a long time. A good marriage was a confusing term for me and that was very telling.

My then husband’s answer to her question was something he had been saying “as a joke” for a long time, and I don’t think it was what a 14-year-old should hear, but then, we had no kids, luckily. As a father, he would get a -10 in my book. He told her: “There are two kinds of women you can marry: a crazy bitch or an angry bitch. I married the crazy.” This explains a lot. I’m still uneasy about him talking like that to a teen, but I’m upset at myself that I hadn’t stopped him the first time he had joked about it. When a joke is recurrent, there is some truth to those words. True that I thought he was many things, but I didn’t voice them and least of all with a teen who is still in wondrous awe at life.

So, having a good marriage is something I cannot define because I haven’t experienced it. Just wish that some people were a little more sensitive and careful with what they blurt out.

Just a note: I’m the crazy one, but the fun one too!

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2 thoughts on “A good marriage

  1. swtspontaneous

    My ex would joke about marriage being the end of his life all of the time. It was painful to hear so many jokes at my expense. My current boyfriend always tells me that he is the luckiest man on earth because he has me. For every joke at my expense that I used to hear out of the mouth of my ex, I know hear heartfelt affirmations from my current boyfriend. I hope that one day years from now, you will be as lucky!

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