On love and finding closure.

Closure is a term that implies finality. It marks the ending of an important part of your life; a relationship, a job, a stage or an addiction. It may be a very painful to move on and come to terms with the closing of a chapter in life. Reaching closure is hard because you need to obtain the knowledge, satisfactory conclusion and peace of mind to put the experience behind you. Usually, when we can’t easily resolve whatever the issue might be, we are clouded by ambiguity and uncertainty, thus, we have to seek the conclusion on our own, often having to rewrite the ending so we can let go of the past.

Why do we need or seek closure?

If we don’t know the reason for or are unable to conclude an episode in our lives, we feel incomplete. We are left in a kind of limbo, not being able to move on because the chapter was left, on our side, at least, open, with loose ends. What this does is keep us stuck in the pain of loss and unable to move on, hanging on by revisiting the event over and over again in our minds. We have to accept what has happened on our own terms to find closure and let go.

If our questions of why something came to an end go unanswered, we will not let go of the person or event, in the same way, we seek to know the dramatic conclusion of a novel or movie. We have to be able to say, “this is what happened, and this is how it ended,” just like the plot line of our favorite thriller. When we can’t do this, the ghosts of doubt and “what if’s” come to haunt us.

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