I am no longer a fighter, meaning that I dislike arguing over anything with people. No matter the circumstance, I rather walk away or let it be and be at peace. I’m very in tune with “not changing people.” But there are instances when, maybe, I’ve heard, it’s normal to disagree and get into minor arguments.
I never argued much with my soon to be ex-husband, or at least, the arguments lasted seconds. I thought this was good. I only detected his anger when he was more serious and less talkative than normal, and only then did I see it coming. It was at the end of the relationship when I stopped asking what was wrong because for one, just like him, I tried to avoid arguments and conflict. It drains me. I also grew tired of having to ask what was wrong. The dance: sudden seriousness, complete silence, avoidance and disappearance.
So, here we are. At the doors of divorce because we never talked about those things, those little things that annoyed the hell out of each other. We did not communicate about things that really mattered. Thus, we fixed nothing. And so be it. I now know that talking things out, not arguing but communicating with your spouse is very important. Talk things out immediately; about what is not working so the other can have a chance to try to change the way things are done. Probably, people mostly fight about small things that are finally the ones that act as a smoke screen hiding larger problems.
Nope, I’m no longer a fighter, I need peace, but to find that peace we must communicate and sometimes argue.