It was a bit over 4 years ago when my life felt stagnant. I wanted and needed a change so badly that I even prayed, asking life to bring me that change. While we are the architects of our lives, I was at a loss as to how and what to start building. It didn’t help that I’ve always been terrified of change, or at least I was then. Now I’m no longer so terrified, especially after the joyride that came soon afterwards.
Something clicked when I went to see Wayne Dyer, the self-help guru. That was the first step. I would have never gone to hear some guru speak, but I was so desperate to find my way, that anything was worth a try. I went alone too, another “new” for me. For the first time, I wasn’t shy and enjoyed the talk. I took what I liked and left what I didn’t, which was mostly people’s desperate questions to this man, hoping he had the answers to their life problems. He was just inspiring, and while now I don’t remember a word of what he said, I do remember how he talked: carefree and talking from his own experience.
That first step was a corner-stone. I was ready to move on and find my way and accept and roll with the crazy changes that followed.
What followed were changes in my routine at first. I stopped being so anal about cleaning and organizing. This might be a good thing, but not if it becomes an obsession. Suddenly I was free to change my routines and do things differently, letting go of control.
I said yes to a writing gig and this new venture opened up a new world, the world of communication, social media. And most importantly, through my blogs, I was able to begin opening up about the secrets I had been harboring for years. As a result, I started caring less what people might think of me, which took a load off my back and conscience.
I said yes to going to blogger conferences where I knew nobody. (My sister was there and that helped.) I realized how much I really enjoy socializing and meeting new interesting people. I also found out that some people were as insecure and lost as I was, which turned out to be a great relief and gave me a sense of belonging. I wasn’t that nutty after all!
I said yes to meeting people and travelling to meet them. Made new friends, had new experiences I would never have allowed myself since I was never adventurous.
I said yes to so many things I used to find an excuse to avoid before. I did get in trouble at times, but I also got a lot out of those experiences.
Thanks to that fateful day with Wayne Dyer, I was set free in so many ways. I guess I was ready to move on, to break my own chains and go ahead and improvise life. I learnt to say yes when deep down I was afraid, but yet, I went ahead with it. I also learnt to say no instead of trying to please and end up in impossible situations I would eventually regret.
Now, I welcome change even if at first I’m a bit hesitant. In order to live life fully, you have to say yes to more to opportunities that might then open the door to even more change and adventure!
This is my prime. I have never felt so comfortable in my own skin. And I have to thank, not only the guru I remember little about, but also the support people showed when I went on this new adventure.
Yes…. Change is good and it will all be OK.