Relationship failure by fireflythegreat

Is there a predictor of failure in relationships? According to marriage expert John M. Gottman, PhD, there is. We are often blind to the obvious, and keep hoping for things to get better when our relationship holds all the signs of heading south. Of course, there is no perfect relationship, but there are many things that can predict failure and that may be prevented. We can use these predictors to help us see where we stand, so we can either get out or try to change the way we interact with our partner.

According to Gottman, when a couple earns a “failing grade” on any one of the following points, a marriage may be in jeopardy:

• Is the couple affectionate with each other?
• Do the feel a great deal of negativity towards each other?
• Togetherness vs. separateness. Do they see themselves as a team or as independent entities?
• How volatile do they become when dealing with conflict?
• Do they just accept the difficulties in life or do they try to better their lives?
• Do they feel pride at having overcome difficulties together?
• Does either or both parties feel disappointment and disillusionment in the marriage?

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