It’s National Suicide Awareness Month and for this reason I get to talk about it. Not in-depth, just adding my grain of salt for those who contemplate suicide as a way out. Desperately seeking to end the pain of living. We are all different, have different stories, but in a way those of us who have experienced our own hell have one thing in common: meaninglessness.
After an attempt, it’s all about finding a balance, a way to find meaning and the willingness to keep going against all odds. Trying not to listen to those inner self-defeating voices that compel us to want to end the suffering.
As I look back, it seems it happened to someone else. As I grew up, I almost forgot what I tried to do at one time. I am amazed at how I made it through and survived.
What has kept me going is my natural disconcerting new-found enthusiasm. It took a while, but I believe it was hidden somewhere inside me. I have come to cherish life and live more at peace with the world and myself. My passion to indulge in any endeavour I set my mind to becomes my engine, my fuel to find meaning in the meaninglessness of life.
I’m a happy person with a difficult brain. That’s all.