How to drown

This post’s title is not to be taken to heart. It’s kind of reverse psychology. I truly understand and know what darkness is, therefore I feel I can write this without any shame. It should have been “How not to drown,” but for some reason, sometimes we need to hear things in a different light to change a pattern that hurts us. This is a conversation I had with my dad with whom, of course, I have a lot in common. We both like our alone time, we both enjoy teaching and meaningful human interaction, but when we are alone we tend to ruminate a bit too much and start drowning. So, this is how to drown:

  • Make sure you have a whole day to yourself to ruminate and make sure you dig up memories of all those mistakes you think you made.
  • Make sure one negative thought leads to another. (I suggest this is accompanied by  very sad background music.)
  • Think of only sad things.
  • Look at old pictures and brood about how old you’ve become.
  • Think about all the what ifs.
  • Compare your life with others. (Even if they have nothing to do with you.)
  • When you’re in this spirit of drowning, don’t answer the phone and if possible take to bed.
  • Don’t answer e-mails or check your phone to make sure you punish the world. Yes, all those who care about you!
  • Dig deep into all those sad childhood losses and stay there for a long time.
  • Don’t try to escape the memories, bathe in them until it hurts so much you believe your future is doomed too.
  • Don’t try to call anyone who might cheer you up.
  • Think about how you’ve wasted your life.
  • Be mean to yourself by being self-deprecating, self-sabotaging, self-loathing and self-defeating.
  • Don’t let gratitude enter your mind. That will steer you away from your mission to drown.

And I can’t add anymore or I’ll start drowning. Now, put a positive spin on each of the above and KEEP living! Don’t Drown!

4 thoughts on “How to drown

  1. Norma

    Well worded. I am your sister, I’m sure, because I try to drown often. The first step to NOT drowning is realizing that you are the one creating the water.

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