Shhhh… She bent over the table, got close and whispered: “At this point in my life, I test the waters. If something doesn’t make me extremely happy, I leave.” This came from someone my age. She has, as I, more yesterdays than tomorrows. We giggled and nodded knowingly because we both know well that there are many advantages to having reached this point in life when every day is a treasured soon-to-be yesterday, and there’s little time to waste. If something isn’t fulfilling, why not ditch it?
When you have more yesterdays than tomorrows you see everything in a different light. I personally notice and appreciate things that at a younger age I overlooked. Now, I see sunsets as miracles. The fall in all its glory, while tinged with sadness, being as it is, the death of summer, is a beautiful spectacle I enjoy. There are many other things that cross my path which I view in absolute wonderment now. It’s like going back to childhood, where the smallest things became magnified and we looked at them in awe.
However, when you have more yesterdays than tomorrows, you must find the courage to recover and move on faster. You cannot linger on a page too long because you know that time is not on your side. It never was, it’s just more imminent now.
With age, you must learn to see your future as very limited so as to figure out what is worth your while. If it doesn’t enhance your life, get your bearings, pack your bags and head towards brighter and lusher fields.
swtspontaneous
Beautifully written, Laura!
I’m at a point where the mundane things such as: waking up in the morning, going to bed, having the opportunity to do laundry or got to the DMV or go for a run brings me much happiness.
I remember the first time I was introduced to impermanence when one of my friends when I was in fifth grade was killed by a drunk driver. As one grows older, one sees and notices impermanence more and more. There’s a sort of beauty to it. A fallen tree trunk feeds the forest for many lifetimes. We use the log to cross the stream and plants start growing out of it. Animals make their homes in it.
This is a year when I am really pausing to restructure my life. Suddenly, impermanence abounds and I notice cancer and death more often.
In a Super Soul Sunday Oprah podcast, Paulo Coelho describes how he visited the doctor one day not expecting anything and was told he was going to die very soon. Something was wrong with his heart. He had no fear, no regrets and felt he did everything he ever wanted to in his life! He had traveled the world, lived a good life with his wife and followed his passion. How many people can say this?
Steve Jobs once said, “I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”
Laura Carbonell
Thank you so much! It’s beautiful