According to Minds Journal “Casinos know it. Animal trainers count on it. Narcissists have perfected it.” Diana Jeffrey couldn’t have explained it better when she says how the powerful emotional tool of intermittent reinforcement can keep you hooked forever. This is what Narcissists are experts at.
It does take a special type of person who has either an addictive personality, low self-esteem or actually, any person who simply happens to fall in love, which we all know, can drive us crazy for a while. Yet, narcissists can prolong the torture of the pink love cloud for years.
They hook you first showering you with love and affection, treating you as if you were the best thing that has happened to them, and then they tell you how hard they’ve had it. Usually, these people cannot commit and won’t, but they will keep you hooked by pulling you close, then pushing you away. They play the intermittent reinforcement card. Either they are all for you, or then they cool down and set a distance. It’s a Ping-Pong game of emotion.
I know a woman who is hooked to a narcissist after 9 years and keeps playing the game. It’s upsetting to me because as she talks about him, I see how this “relationship” is damaging her, her self-esteem and is keeping her from enjoying life.
The only way I see one can treat this narcissist’s love “disease” is cold turkey. Just like you would treat an addiction. Leave, run and never look back. It’s easy to say, but there is no other way around it.