I never thought I’d turn 30 just as I never anticipated going through many life changes, difficulties or heartbreaks. Middle age is one of those things we simply don’t see on the horizon when we’re young. Then, reality sets in and time passes.
Accepting what is, is hard, and the changes our bodies, minds and lives go through is a process most of us don’t take to kindly. When middle age comes knocking at our door, it often takes us by surprise and startles us. The fact is, we all grow older if we are so lucky, and we often don’t like it. We can, however, learn to accept and even celebrate the changes the new chapter brings forth, with its difficulties and positive aspects, as we get close to middle age, or as we are in it already.
Middle age has changed in our culture, and it’s no joke when we hear that, 40’s are the new 30’s because we live longer than ever before. This means middle age may be interpreted as being 30, 40, 50 and so on. Mastering middle age, head on and head high, is a must. We don’t want to spend the second half of our lives miserably looking back at what we think we lost in our youth.
True that some men look better older and some women become even more attractive, yet we start to feel old, and there’s no turning back the hands of time.
The good and the bad
By this time, we should have sorted out baggage from our childhoods and moved on with our lives. We know ourselves better and have been through quite a few humbling lessons. We are more self-assured and outspoken when necessary. We seem to know what we want in a partner, a job and from life. If we don’t, at least we know what we don’t want. We are less fearful and increasingly ready to try new things because we believe we have less to lose. We have this sense of having “been there done that,” that helps us make wiser, bolder decisions.
The bad, at least for women, is that at times we seem to become invisible. We probably let go of some insecurities we had in our youth, only to add different ones as our bodies age. Emotionally, women realize at this time that they expect more from their relationships, more than just sex. Women seek a deeper, more intimate connection, and yes: more and better sex!
If divorced or single, now, at middle age, it’s harder to find that soul mate to share the second half of life with. Women often become pickier and less ready to put up with certain quirks that may not have been a deal breaker at a younger age.
Life has the same journey in store for us all. We are born, go through our share of happy moments and misfortunes, and finally, die. With this in mind, what really matters is to be present at any and every age in order to enjoy its benefits. For most, middle age is a time when you find a balance between work and play. A time of reflection and deeper, more meaningful relationships. A time to celebrate all you’ve gone through and share your experience with others.
12 things you can do to embrace middle age
- Becoming engaged in things that are important to you. Charitable causes or perhaps a hobby. Find a passion that will distract you from those thoughts that bring you to the sad reality that you are no longer a spring chicken.
- Dress the part: your part. Be yourself and give the world the best version of yourself wearing clothes that best represent you.
- This is the best time to say no. Learn to say no, right now. You have no time to waste doing things other people want you to do if it’s only to please them. Speak your mind.
- Spend time with older people. Find people who inspire you and set the pace for you, living in a way you would hope for yourself as you age. For example, when I meet inspiring older women that are still dating at 68 and are full of life and, therefore, beauty, these women become my mentors and inspiration.
- You are as beautiful as your soul, so cultivate your inner beauty. Concentrate on giving the best of yourself. Smile yourself happy! It’s contagious!
- If you are going through a divorce, erase any thought of ‘I’m too old to find love ever again.’ The more you fixate on something, the less likely it is that you will attract it.
- You can improve yourself at any age. The more you exercise, the better your mood and thus the happier you’ll be. Your body and mind will appreciate it.
- Become friends with your family again. Try to mend and develop closer ties. Learn to forgive them, if you must.
- Read biographies that inspire you. You will find that most people are happier and more satisfied the older they become. Some achieved most things they hoped for in the second part of their lives.
- Cultivate a positive attitude, with practice it becomes a habit. Again, this works to attract the best into your life.
- Forgive and forget. Time and maturity bring more common sense (to some lucky ones), and those things that deeply hurt you, now wiser, will quiet down the anger and make room for forgiveness and, at long last, closure.
- Cherish your friendships more than ever. The one’s left by your side will help you face the passing of time.
Mid-life is just another chapter in life so get ready for the ride. At this point, with all the experiences you’ve had, your appreciation of people and life is the strongest! Embrace it!
For inspiration, watch TedX “Jane Fonda: Life’s third act.