I’m in no way an expert in love, but I do know what hasn’t worked for me, or what I’ve seen in other relationships that hasn’t worked either. In this light, I am well aware that certain things don’t fall into the category of love.What love is NOT in my book:

• A battle to be fought.
• Living in fear of the next shoe to drop.
• A “job” that requires so much energy that you feel drained every day.
• A careless afterthought.
• A duty.
• Being with someone for the sake of not being alone. (In such a case, you are marrying loneliness.)
• Putting up with behaviors you wouldn’t even accept from a dear friend.
• Ignoring problems hoping they will go away.
• A place to dump all your life frustrations.
• Only taking.
• An imposition.
• Criticizing the other constantly.
• “This is mine and that is yours.”
• An obsession. (That is only part of the pink cloud and the lust at the beginning of the relationship. After that, it’s sick.)
• A possession.
• What you say but what you do.

In the end, it’s a hit and miss, until you get it right. By that time, you may have taken a few hard knocks. Yet, you haven’t failed, you were simply feeling your way and learning.