I as many others may seem social, happy and thriving in the company of people, yet at some point, we suddenly feel the urge to run home and hide from the bustle, seeking downtime to recover and collect ourselves and our thoughts. It’s like coming back home to the security and safety of ourselves. I call it survival.
This happens to me when I’m suddenly overwhelmed with too much interaction, too much noise, and sensory input. At some point in an evening, I shut down, and the sudden urge to hide overcomes me. This is when I run for the nearest exit, to arrive at my quiet happy place. There I kick back and may spend a day alone recovering. The the last time I spent a whole 12 hours in great and fun company, I took to bed for a three hour nap. Something in my brain needs to disconnect, return to me, to who I am. Maybe it’s a way of not getting lost in other people, maybe I need to make sure I don’t lose my sense of self and autonomy.
Some people may not understand this. I may not answer e-mails, texts or the phone for a while. I simply feel unable to. When my need for space takes over, my downtime comes first. After that recovery period, I come back renewed and ready to really enjoy my relationships fully again. Some take this as aloofness or not caring, however, it’s the contrary, I do this because I care deeply. If I didn’t have this downtime, I wouldn’t be able to be fully present and love you so profoundly when I’m with you.