My grandfather used to tell me that I was like my mother; my own worst enemy. This was in my teens and I still remember clearly how bad that made me feel. In Spanish, you’d say “como una bala perdida,” literally an out of control bullet, someone who is completely lost and unable to be stopped. I loved my grandfather and found him extremely intelligent. A man who wouldn’t spare words and told it like it was. He had no filter and this was a breath of fresh air as painful as his words could sometimes be because he was often right. I appreciate that he was so direct because this has helped me to try not to be THAT person; the lost one, the enemy.
People who are their own worst enemies sabotage all the good that comes their way, and often are not aware of it. Their subconscious guides them to do things and be with people who eventually harm them. Just like most have an acute survival instinct, people who are their own worst enemies don’t seem to have a very developed survival instinct. They drown. They don’t try to swim up and drift.
Nobody is perfect and we all have done things that make us cringe when we look back. I have many cringe-worthy stories, however, I collect less and less of them and I’m finally swimming up for air more often than not. So, the bullet can be stopped, it’s just a matter of time and awareness, which in truth is very hard to come by.